Changing Habits: The Core of Self-Improvement

Habits can either be good or bad. They can either work for you or against you. They can either make your life easy or difficult. Depending on the kind of habitual behaviors you are forming, you are either preparing yourself for a life of defeat or or a life of victory.

Habits of good grooming, good health practices, excellence, thoroughness, honesty, punctuality, diligence in studying or at work are but a few examples of the good ones. On the other hand, habits of procrastination, tardiness, lying, gossiping, excessive masturbation, smoking among so many others are the ones that are on the opposite side, which obviously have deleterious effects and consequences.

Do you find yourself hooked on a certain habitual behavior? Do you desire to change? Lets take a closer view at the true nature of habits and discover practical steps that you may take towards your desired change. Read on.

What are habits?

• Habits are learned, not instinctive, routines of behavior that occur automatically and are repeated regularly, sometimes even without requiring thinking or intention. 
• The person may not be paying attention to or be conscious or aware of the behavior. However, when the behavior is brought to the person's attention, they may be able to control it.
•  Habits are easily learned but difficult to unlearn.
• Bad habits are more easily formed and learned than good ones.

How are habits formed?

• Key to establishing a habit is repetition of the act.
• The tendency of human behavior is to repeat or re-indulge in an act that gives oneself pleasure. It may be in the form of physical, emotional, and social pleasures. However, it is important to note that not all that are pleasurable is expedient.

How do habits affect you?

• Established habits lay the foundation of your character. 
• Good habits positively influence your life in general, in as much as bad habits do the exact opposite
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  Habits can be powerful enough to virtually enslave a person into a state of powerlessness. Hence, with habits, you can either be a slave to a good or to a bad "master."

Can established habits be changed or improved?

As said earlier, habits are learned. So as long as you have the capacity to learn (which means, as long as you are living), you can change your habits. Although, it would be much difficult to unlearn the already established ones, replacing them with new ones will eventually weaken their power in time. So there is always hope at self-improvement as long you have the willpower and a strong desire to change.

What are the stages of HABIT CHANGE?

Habit formation and establishment occurs in a stepwise manner. Basically it starts with a the initial act or thought that becomes repeated over and over through time, eventually becoming automatic in the long run.  In a similar manner, changing habits also occur in a stepwise fashion. We can call it the five stages of Habit Change.  Look carefully at what occurs in each stage as you may be unaware of what is going on.

1.    Precontemplation Stage

a.   You have at least one of the desctructive and self-defeating behaviours you need to change.

b.   You don’t admit you have a problem

c.   You see unhealthy habits in others but not on yourself

d.   You don’t want to change yourself

e.   You think others are to blame for your habits or difficulties

f.    Others might be conscious of your  behavior. (parents complaining of your staying up late at night, losing weight; teachers tell you your grades are a bit low; friend tells you you have no time, you are changing; employers might be complaining of your performance)

g.   There is denial and resistance to change

h.   If you stay in this stage, you are stuck, and you’ll surely be defeated.

i.    You need to be more conscious of your own self by doing a self-assessment.

2.   Contemplation Stage

a.   You acknowledge you have a problem, and you want to get unstucked.

b.   You begin to think seriously about solving your problem.

c.   You try understand its causes and you begin to investigate your options.

d.   You make definite plans to take action immediately or within the next few months.

e.    In this stage, you might be stuck for months or years if you don’t proceed to the next stage. Why?  You know you need to change, and you intend to... someday.. just as soon as.. after... when the rush is over...  You know your desire to change and you know where you're going (destination) but you are not quite ready to go. Giving up something you have come treasure is a hard thing to do.

f.    Here, you fear you’ll fail.  It’s hard to change.  You say to yourself, "I can’t possibly change. " So you keep searching for an easier, more dramatic, or more complete solution to your problem.

g.   Failure is guaranteed if you don't move on to the next stage.

3.  Preparation Stage

a.   Here you make plans and you prepare for the BIG change.  If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

b.  You greatly reduce your success probability if you suddenly wake up one morning, then say “This is the day” and dive headfirst into a change without realistically and specifically planning how you will make the change happen.

c.  Therefore, here you need to develop a detailed plan of action and you may announce your intention publicly. You may tell others, your friends, parents, colleagues, etc. They can help and support you in the process.

d.  Your awareness might be high and you may have already begun small behavioural changes.

e.   Important:  Before moving ahead with your plan (the next stage, which is ACTION), you need to know exactly HOW you will keep your awareness and commitment high throughout the struggles of the next stages. (Ask others to remind you. Post some notes/reminders.)

4.    Action Stage

a.   As Nike's slogan says "JUST DO IT!" then should you. And do it now!

b.   This action stage requires the most commitment and energy.  It’s where you actually execute your plan.

c.   Here, you receive the most recognition and support during this stage, because others can see that you’re working at it.

d.  You follow the plan you have made in stage 3, make revisions of your plan, and “keep on keeping on” even if its inconvenient or difficult.

e.  CAUTION: Action at this point doesn't necessarily mean that lasting change has been made.  Action is an essential part of the process, but failure to MAINTAIN  the new behaviour you are doing can SABOTAGE the progress you’ve made so far.

5.     Maintenance

a.  This stage is a long, ongoing process.

b.  This is the most difficult. (e.g. maintaining a diet for losing weight, sustaining punctuality, etc.)

c.  Here, you to need to be at constant vigilance and cautious in your dealings with those temptations that can draw you back into the old, destructive pattern.

d.  You need hard work to consolidate the gains you've made during the first four stages and to PREVENT RELAPSE. DON’T SLIP BACK!!!

e.  Celebrate achieving your goals.  Treat yourself! But don’t relax and tell yourself, “Whew! I’m glad It’s over!” because it is not.

f.   Develop a menu of mental and behavioral coping strategies that will take you through the times when your feet begin to slip. Keep in mind:

1.   The more addictive the habit was, the MORE FIERCE the battle would be

2.   In times of stress and problems or conflicts, people are most likely to slip.

3.   Once you slip, you can fall back to previous stages or worse, right back to the start and begin the process all over again!  Sayang and hard work mo...

Change is possible. Don’t give up! If you have set backs, don’t stay there. Pick yourself up, dust off, and try again. This time,with a revised and better plan. As I said earlier, so as long as you have the capacity to learn, which means as long as you are alive, you can scrap those bad habits off your system and begin to replace them with good ones. There is always hope at self-improvement as long you have the willpower and a strong desire to change. Persistence is the key.