Improve Your Relationships

Original article found at: Associated Content

The best way to successful relationships is to understand yourself. If you enter into relationships expecting others to define you, your relationships are doomed before they start. However, how you define yourself is not necessarily how others see you. If you believe you are strong, but others perceive you as weak, look at how you are presenting yourself to the world. The more you get into the real you, that is truly understand your own attitudes and behaviors, the better your chances will be for real success. The goal is to have a realistic assessment of yourself because only then will you know what characteristics you are looking for in others.

Do not pigeonhole yourself into relationships; have a sense of independence. Continue to seek out new experiences and friendships for opportunities to learn something new that will enhance the relationships; do not cling or feel threatened. Being together does not mean you are joined at the hip. If you are not allowed to have friends or seek new adventures, it may be a clue to sever ties. Life is about growing.

Do not be afraid to listen to the views of others even if they are in opposition to your own thinking. It is through intellectual diversity that you learn and grow in your relationships. If you only make friends with those who think like you, sooner of later you will bore each other to death. Other points of view may assist in changing any unreal perceptions you have of yourself, and aid you in becoming the real you, engendering more fruitful and enduring relationships.

Do not be afraid to adopt some of the attitudes and behaviors of others who you respect and admire. Determine what motivates their thinking, ascertain how they respond to different situations in their lives, and focus on their interpersonal skills. If you would like to know how you're progressing, seek out a third person whom you trust and test your new skills on him or her. Learn to appreciate constructive criticism.

Do not criticize without offering alternative suggestions or proposals. Rather than say "You ought to," you might say, "Have you considered." Anytime you believe you need to criticize, stop and think about what you are about to say. How would you respond if you were the receiver? There is a ton of truth in the old adage "treat others as you want to be treated."

Do not interrupt others during conversations and listen with all your senses. Do not pretend to listen while you are formulating a response. Your body language will give you away each time. Determine whether you're being asked for input or merely to listen. There is nothing more irritating than receiving unsolicited advice.

Do not try to change others to how you believe they should be; be yourself and allow them to be themselves. If you don't like how they act, there's another old adage that reeks with truth "there's a lid for every pot." Appreciate and accept or decline and reject: Honesty is always THE key component in successful relationships. Do not sacrifice your true self or force others to sacrifice themselves to hold on to relationships.

Do not expect others to make or keep you happy as the source of true happiness comes from within. Always look for things that will bring you joy. Smile often and at times laugh out loud, for no reason other than being alive, until each becomes a habit. You will find that happiness will find you, no matter where you are, if you are always prepared for its arrival.

Do express your love and appreciation at every opportunity. There can never be too much love. Leave love notes in books or around the house for your lover or send cards to friends for no reason other than you're happy they are in your life. Always remember, if you want a successful relationship, be a friend a truly great friend.