Many say that the true measure of success is happiness. Just how happy you are in certain aspects in your life truly speaks of how successful you are in those areas. There are many apparently successful individuals who tend to have all but are actually unhappy with their life.
What then makes one unhappy? Where does this unhappiness springs from?
In life we set expectations. We expect to get this, to have that; to achieve this, to accomplish that; to earn this, to get hold of that; to be able to do this, to be able to learn that; and the long list of expectations continues. We set goals and objectives and we expect to achieve and realize them in a set period of time. (Romantic relationships, in particular, can have a lot of expectations. Each one expects a certain degree of intimacy, attention, and time; a certain amount of material things; a certain level loyalty and honesty; and an indefinite amount of love.)
When things don’t go the way we want and expect it to, and circumstances do not favor our plans, goals and objectives, frustrations and disappointments come in. Life becomes gloomy and anergic. The zest to continue on disappears. Unhappiness becomes eminent.
Very clearly, we see that failed expectations ultimately give rise to a state of unhappiness.
If right now you find yourself unhappy, one way or another, think back and you will surely find a few or many unmet expectations in your life, be it the past or in the present. It could be work-related, relationship-related, love life, on family matters, career, studies, or on any other endeavors and aspects in your life, etc. Particularly, relationship-related ones may have affected you significantly. You proceed and ask, what’s went wrong?
Did you fail to voice out your expectations? Did you expect too much, more that what you deserve? Did you esteem yourself too high than what you actually are? Did you fail to set realistic and reasonable goals? Did your efforts accompany your goals and expectations? Did you work hard to attain them? Are you a discontent person? Aren’t you happy with less? Are you too hard on yourself? If majority of your answers to these questions are YES, then it would explain why you are unhappy.
If happiness is a choice, and unhappiness follows unmet expectations, then you can choose to be happy. Don’t expect too much, and you spare yourself from trouble. Lower your expectations and avoid frustrations. Work hard to realize your goals, however be realistic enough that these goals are within your capacity to reach. Be honest enough to set your expectations within reasonable levels. And finally, make known your expectations for people tend to rise up according to your expectations. Learn to be content, but don’t settle for mediocrity.
Life is too short. If you have been unhappy in the past or at the present, then do something to set things right. Choose to be happy. Set your expectations right. Happiness is within your reach! JJJ
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